Halfway Home

This past Saturday, February 26th, marked the halfway point in the 100 days challenge. That's day 50 for the mathematically challenged folks. To celebrate I went out for a weekly adventure. I ran for over 100 minutes on the "Pathfinder Parkway," a paved 10 mile (or so) trail that runs through the middle of this little town. I probably only ran 7-8 miles at a pretty slow place, stopping to take photos every few steps it seemed. 

Every half mile for for three miles, there were mileage markers with inspirational quotes on either side. I must say, these were neat to see out on the trail and gave me some interesting things to ponder as I pounded the pavement on day 50. Here are the ones I ran by...

 

Throughout the past 50 days, I've read over 5000 pages, completed 18 books, did over 5000 minutes of physical activity, finished one film job, found some inspiration for the "career" direction I think I want to go, visited some fun, new outdoor spots, started another film job, and can finally button my favorite pair of pants again. This is all great news, but the best part about the past 50 days I am am creating new, healthy habits that I hope will stick with me for life. So far, I think it is working.

Now that I am living it up in a hotel room for a month, I have free wifi and cable TV at my fingertips whenever I want. I've wasted some time surfing the web, watched a few too many episodes of Hoarders and various reality shows, but mostly I find myself wanting to read when I have down time.  Instead of wasting my time and energy mindlessly staring at the TV for hours, I want to put my mind to work, and not just because I "have to" read 100 pages. I want to. I love learning (hence all the nonfiction books) and also love good page-turning stories more than I love watching another couple buy/redo another house or another overweight person getting fit, as inspirational as it may be. Now, I'd rather be working on myself and improving my mind than watching other people do something good (or idiotic) on TV. 

Most days, the physical activity part isn't too hard either. Knowing how good I feel after a workout makes it easier to get up early or stay up late to get in my minutes. Plus I can kill two birds with one workout by reading while I bike or watching bad TV while I do my Pilates DVD.

Pilates in the front, Biggest Loser in the back

Some days, it is still hard to find that motivation to get up at 6:30 in the morning, when I could be sleeping until 8:15 (like I did today, oops). As I lie in bed bargaining with myself for "10 more minutes and then I'll get up," there is another voice that whispers "you never regret a workout, but you do regret skipping one" over and over again until I get up. It usually works, though sometimes I still sleep in and have to get in my minutes later in the day or at night after work (like tonight). Thankfully there is a mini-gym at the hotel open until 10PM and I can always do my Pilates and yoga DVDs in my room. No matter how tempting it may be to completely skip a workout, I have managed to do my 100 minutes of physical activity every single day for the past 50 days and for that, I am pretty dang proud.
 
I am thrilled that it is all downhill from here, so to speak. I have loved the 100 Days Challenge so far, but it is quite a commitment every day, especially while working again. The hardest part is yet to come since I am now working long hours again for the next few weeks and will be squeezing in my minutes and pages on either side of 12 hour workdays, but I will figure it out. How? The quote below describes it, and was my favorite of all the ones I ran by over the weekend....

To the next 50 days, may you be as productive and enjoyable as the first 50!

Monday Monday$: Big Fat Pile of Debt

I like to think of myself as a fairly intelligent person. Feel free correct me if I am wrong. Though I was an English major, I have a well rounded education and seemed to excel in math up through high school. I know that negative numbers are "bad" and less than positive numbers. Heck, I think I learned that back in grade school. So how the h-e-l-l did I start 2010 with $-49,567.28? Yes, you read that correctly. I had $49,567.28 in the red as of January 2010, when I started actually paying attention to my own personal finances. I owed almost $50K to a variety of banks and financial organizations that willingly and happily loaned me money throughout my adult life, so long as I agreed to pay them back and then some with interest. This included a loan for my "house" (an Airstream trailer), student loans, a car loan and two credit cards. 

I thought I was living within my means. I had two credit cards with a combined available credit over of $20,000, so long as I didn't exceed my available credit and made my payments on time means I was doing pretty good! The interest rates were the lowest available and I always tried to pay extra when I could. My car loan was reasonable, I bought a cute brand new Honda Fit at the end of 2007, making sure the monthly payments were well below what I could afford so I'd never have any problems making them. The Airstream loan was reasonable too, I thought. I gave up my apartment and moved into it full time, the combined payments for the loan and the rent at the property where I parked it added up to slightly less than my rent at the old apartment. No problem there. Then there are the student loans. Everyone has student loans. How else do you go to school, especially a private one? Answer: Sallie Mae. We're pretty close now, she's been in my life for over 10 years and only made me start paying her back 6 months after I graduated from college. Not only that, but she only makes me pay $132.05 per month until the loans are paid off. This is less than I spend on groceries and so generous!  

As I read and learned more about personal finance last year, being the nerd that I am, I created a few spreadsheets to calculate how much I would actually pay on the loans versus the original amounts I borrowed. Please note, I did very simple math and multiplied my monthly payment times the number of months in the terms of the loan. I realize there are probably more complicated exact calculations involving interest and integers and cosines or something, but remember I am an English Lit chick just starting to figure out this personal finance thing. This is what I discovered:

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????!!!! I was going to end up paying OVER $14K MORE than I originally borrowed????!!!! I could buy another new car for that! I could take an extended trip to Europe or Asia or anywhere I wanted for that!!! I started sweating, cursing and threw a little fit by myself when I first saw those numbers. I know how to multiply, divide and add things up. How did I not calculate the ACTUAL amount I would be paying instead of just worrying about the original loan amount and the monthly payments? And to think, this doesn't even include my credit cards, which I am not going to get into today. My blood pressure still rises when I look at that chart. Ugh, ugh, UGH! What the hell was I going to do?

To be continued next week...

Never Say Never

There has been a slight change in my plans. I am going to Oklahoma on Monday for one month to work on some re-shoots for film. This wasn't exactly in my plans for the 100 Day Challenge, but after crunching some numbers I decided it might be in my best interest to actually make some money for a month while I continue to weigh my options for my next "career" step. It also helps that I'll be in OK with one of my very good and fun friends, who I spent the summer of 2009 with on working another film in that same state north of the Red River. 

I haven't said too much about it on here yet, but I think I am narrowing down what career direction I want to go in that does not involve film. I've been researching and doing info interviews and am excited about this possibly new direction. I don't want to go into it "publicly" yet, as I have a tendency to change my mind and plans every 5 minutes so until I have an actual, real plan, the details and subject will remain vague. I am pretty sure my inconsistencies and mind-changing ways are in the Poss genes as my dad's quote to me the other night when I told him I was taking the job in OK after swearing off film was something along the lines of "good God, you really are my daughter." Either that or they finally got the paternity tests back that confirm I am not the milk man's, though I'm still hoping I am Oprah's long lost daughter.

No matter what, I will continue the 100 day challenge, getting in my exercise and pages before or after the inevitable 12+ hour days that lie ahead for the next 30 days. There is a small fitness center at the hotel and I can always bring running shoes to walk or run outside. If I have to, I'll even do calisthenics in the production office in between phone calls and emails. I will bring many books and will have to make myself read, even if I am tired. There will be no Lunchboxes for me, a delightful local drink made of beer, orange juice and Amaretto that will inevitability lead me to dance with a toothless local until the wee hours of the morning while my books sit at the hotel, lonely and untouched.

During one of my info interviews this week with a self employed small business owner, I heard an appropriate quote. "It is not the original commitment you make, it is the re-commitment you make to it every single day." Damn, so appropriate. I committed to the 100 Day Challenge back in early January, when I didn't have another job on the horizon. I must now make a much more conscious re-commitment to it, every single day once I get to Oklahoma.  It will now be much more challenging to put myself and this challenge first while working a demanding job on another, and possibly my last, film.  I know I won't lose any friends or family if I miss a day or slack off here and there because I was at the office from 8A to 11P, but I will be sad/mad/disappointed in myself if I let that happen. This challenge is as much about the discipline to do something good for myself EVERY SINGLE DAY NO MATTER WHAT as it is about hitting the 100 minutes and 100 pages marks daily. Speaking of, there is a stationary bike and a book calling my name...

FAQs

A blog? Ugh, why don't you just go write in your diary.
This was an actual response by a family friend when he heard of my lil' project. Ha! I have a stack of diaries that I've started over the years but quit writing in after a couple days. I am easily distracted. 1) I can type much faster than I can write and 2) blogging helps to keep me accountable for this 100 Day Challenge. It helps me process what I read, do and see in new and hopefully interesting ways knowing that one or two people might periodically check in on me. Plus, I think it is kind of fun!

OMG stop talking about yourself!
Hey, I am not an expert in many things but I am an expert on ME! Therefore the majority of the posts involve me, myself and I and what I did, do and think. Deal with it or go read about celebrity mishaps on TMZ or something. 

Who edits this crap?
No one, clearly. On rare occasions, I run something by a friend or two for feedback but usually it's just me. I'm trying to get better about writing "drafts" in advance, reviewing, editing, and editing some more before just publishing anything. But that's the beauty of a blog, apparently I can write whatever I want! Don't like it, don't read it.


What's with your photos? They look funny and there aren't any people in them.
I don't want to carry a huge, fancy expensive camera with me wherever I go for one very important reason: I don't own one. I use the crappy camera on my iPhone 3G and "edit" the photos using the ShakeItPhoto app. With one tap, the app puts the cute frame around the photo and makes the colors richer like an old Polaroid. It takes less than 30 seconds and is the lazy woman's Photoshop, which I also know nothing about. I actually love photography, preferably shots of landscapes, scenery and nature as you may have already figured out. People just distract from the gorgeous view and cool shots. Get out of the way, I'm taking a picture!

What do you do?
Ah, the preferred question of "getting to know you" champions that can make or break a conversation! Currently, I "do" nothing assuming you are referring to my job, or am "between opportunities" as I prefer to call it. It's all about how you spin it! For most of the past six years, I've worked as a freelance assistant production coordinator (APOC for short) in the Texas film industry. It's a pretty hard gig with long hours and a crazy unpredictable schedule but I do get to work on cool projects with good friends. On rare occasions it has driven me to drink on the job, see photo below. Freelance also means I get laid off at the end of every TV show, movie or project I work on which can be anywhere from 2-6 times per year depending on the length of the projects. I've also worked at an advertising agency, briefly did credit repair at a mortgage company, inventoried old lady bras at a lingerie shop, guarded lives at a country club pool and was an ice cream scooper for a summer in Florida (which was awesome - spend the day on the beach, the night at work, hang out with friends and repeat). I am on the hunt for my next career move and hoping that this challenge will help inspire me.

No, I did not drink that whole pitcher in one sitting.

What do you LIKE to do? 
I love sports, but not the football, basketball, baseball variety. I don't mind watching a game or two, but sitting around a TV watching other people have fun bores me. I love sports and activities that I can learn, participate in and do moderately well, preferably outdoors and somewhere scenic. I played lots of sports in high school but ignored this love for the first half of my twenties for some dumb reason and have spent the past three years reigniting it. I love running most distances up to half marathons, triathlons, running, hiking, skiing (though I haven't actually done it in years), kayaking, swimming, and biking both on the road and on mountain trails, etc. When I am a millionaire I plan to travel to the world's best scuba diving spots, as it is a rather awesome but expensive hobby I have only been able to afford once. I also have a new found love for tennis after an epic weekend of tennis camp with some good friends. I will now be spending many hours perfecting my game so I can beat one particular friend who has a knack for kicking my ass in everything we do. Who knows, maybe I'll even like golf too! I also quite enjoy combing my love for athletic endeavors and crazy challenges with fund raising for good causes. I ran the Austin marathon in 2010 to raise money for The Life Raft Group and did my first triathlon with Team in Training that fall to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Both were awesome experiences and I plan to do more in the future, once my friends and family recover and forget how many times I've hit them up for money.

Survived the marathon, barely. Homemade sign by my dad - he's pretty good with markers.

Austin Triathlon with Team in Training

How did you come up with the 100 Day Challenge?
Don't say you can't learn anything from bad reality television. I was house sitting just after Christmas and spent a good, solid three days parked in front of the large flat screen television watching whatever I could find. (Reason #467 I do not have cable television. I am an addict.) This included four made for TV movies in a row on Lifetime, more than a few Real Housewives of New Atlanta County Hills, The Millionaire Matchmaker and countless other bad TV shows. One show was about an 18 year old girl who wanted to lose 100 pounds in 111 days before she went off to college. (She was very overweight and actually did have over 100 pounds to lose.) The TV show hired her a trainer, put her to work and chronicled her transformation and success, which was actually pretty impressive. This got me thinking about what I could do in a set period of time (not lose 100 pounds, fortunately I don't have that problem) especially since I was about to have quite a bit of free time on my hands with unemployment. I had a rather large stack of unread books and had not been regularly working out since I did my first triathlon back in September, hence the 100 Day Challenge was born.

Are you REALLY doing 100 minutes and 100 pages every single day?
YES! I really am. It is hard, especially on the days I actually have plans and other things going on. I try to get it done early or end up staying up late biking on my stationary bike in my living room and reading, getting in the minutes and pages when I can. In addition to the stationary bike, I also have a couple yoga and Pilates DVDs to do when the weather is terrible outside. I try to take a book with me wherever I go, so if I have any down time while waiting to meet someone I can knock out some pages. Some days it is harder to fit the minutes in especially when it is frigid outside, other days the reading is the hard part when all I want to do is go outside and play in the sunshine (like today).

Are you single?
Yes, please refer to this post for further explanation.

Money Monday$

How’s your sex life? Did you blush a little or spit out your coffee when you read that question? Thought so, but chances are you talk more openly with your friends about your sex life (or lack there-of) than you do about your money (or lack there-of).

Still reading? Great! Because today I'm going to talk about one of my favorite subjects.....me. I mean money, actually me and my money, or is it my money and I (I can never remember. Clearly I was day dreaming during 6th grade grammar class). 

I just finished reading two books related to personal finance.  Nudge, which is actually more of an economics book, discusses the different ways people make decisions about their health, wealth and happiness and how businesses and the government can “nudge” people to make the perceived “best” choice for their 401k, organ donation, eating habits, etc.  Instead of presenting a new employee with 47 confusing choices about their 401K, an employer might have 5 easier to understand options based on the employees predicted retirement year. To encourage participation in a 401K, an employer might have a default system in which the employee will automatically be enrolled in the most conservative 401K investing only a small percentage of their income. The employee can always decide to opt out or to invest more aggressively, if they actively choose.  This same principle can be applied to nutrition in school cafeterias. Put the salads and vegetables first in line instead of the pizza and nachos and students are more inclined to make the healthier choices. Just a couple ways we consumers are "nudged" to make the choices deemed "best" by an authority. Think twice before you pick up that salad! Is that what you REALLY want or is someone else nudging you to eat your veggies besides me?

The other book I just finished, The Millionaire Next Door, is not about how to snag a millionaire spouse unfortunately. Go watch Millionaire Matchmaker for tips about that. The Millionaire Next Door is about the unassuming and not-so-obvious millionaires - the school teachers, firefighters, and small business owner types who live within their means, save, invest and have a net worth of over one million dollars. The authors interviewed many millionaires to find out what they know and what they do that might teach the rest of us a thing or two (or million). The moral of the story is to budget, live within your means, save, invest, and plan. 

Sounds easy, right? Yeah not so much. Dave Ramsey, a personal finance guru, often states that personal money management is "20% knowledge and 80% behavior." I can tell you first hand that this is true. Over the past few years I have developed an interest (some might call it obsession) in personal finance. I am fascinated by people and their money. I cannot seem to read enough about it or have enough conversations about it with willing friends, family and even strangers. Just the mention of money in a conversation will elicit a variety of emotional responses. Some even come across in body language - brows will furrow, arms will cross, shoulders tighten, they might even slap you, or just completely shut down and stop talking. Wow, I don't think people even do that when asked about their sex life.  Which brings me back to my favorite subject.....me. Tune in next week for another edition of Money Monday$ in which I will not talk about sex, but will talk honestly about my struggling, on-going, somewhat abusive relationship with money.

Yours truly,
Po$$
(Pronounced "poe-money-money." It is also my rapper name.)

Animal Farm

In addition to that niece of mine I am hanging out with this week, there are a few animals keeping me entertained (and up at night). Meet Bones: the most adorable, cuddly, patient dog in the history of dogs.

He showed up at my sis-in-law's work three years ago, abandoned, starving and the epitome of skin and bones. He was the scrawniest, skinniest dog I had every seen, still alive and still sweet as can be. They nursed him back to health and won the dog lottery, as he is the coolest boxer I've ever met. Evidence below. He didn't even try to eat the cat, at least not while I was looking.

Speaking of cats, this curious and daring cat is Heathcliff, the newest addition to my niece's zoo. He too is a rockin' pet, except when he jumps onto my head in the middle of the night, purring loudly with one of those toy balls with a bell inside. It's my fault, since I bought the noisy toy. Heathcliff doesn't like to just bother Bones, he's also got a knack for teasing the pig. Pig? Yep, meet Tinkerbell, the pot bellied pig who is currently snoring loudly next to me on that warm bed, in front of the heater.

Tinkerbell is a funny one, she loves (or hates) the color pink and will chase you if you happen to be wearing her favorite color. I found this out the hard way when I showed up at the house wearing pink sweatpants and my brother suggested I run as fast as I could across the yard, just to see what Tinkerbell would do. Pigs can't fly, but they can certainly sprint (and grunt). Tink loves carrots, the color pink, lounging in front of the fire and is looking for that special someone so she isn't the only barn-yard animal living in this domestic house.

I almost forgot the reptilian member of this household! Tigers!

Formerly known as "Tiger Lily" until it was determined that she might actually be a he. Tigers is a leopard print gecko, apparently a fairly common house pet as my other niece also has one named Buttercup. They certainly didn't carry these at pet stores when I was a kid!  He eats three crickets a day (bought at the store and kept in a separate container hidden from the cat who likes to eat bugs) and is the quietest, lowest maintenance member of this pack.

Back to My Future

I am not a flux capacitor. Unlike Doc’s DeLorean, my body does not run on trash (or plutonium for that matter).  Back to the Future was my favorite movie growing up.  I didn’t have a crush on Marty McFly or anything; I just really liked that movie. (That might also explain my obsession with puffy vests. I own three, one of which is bright red and may or may not be the exact vest worn by Marty McFly.) I particularly loved the end of Part I when Doc returns from the future with the new and improved flying DeLorean and flux capacitor that now runs on trash. He fuels it with leftover beer, banana peels and other random rubbish while Marty and Jennifer stand there with a befuddled expression. A flying car running on trash! How cool is that?! Apparently so cool I thought I could run on trash too. 

For the better part of my life, I did not paid much attention to what I ate or drank, other than making sure the food was delicious (and usually unhealthy) and the drink either caffeinated, full of sugar or of the alcoholic kind (once I was of legal drinking age of course).  In high school, we’d go out for a cheese fries and sodas or chips and slurpees before our basketball and volleyball games. In college, the first two meals I had to have when I returned home were cheese enchiladas and chicken fried steak (with mashed potatoes and fried okra please). Yes y’all, I am a Texan, no doubt about that. I also had a nasty Coke habit. Not that coke, the drinkable, crisp, cool, refreshing Coca-Cola variety. I had to have at least one a day or I might actually die. I didn’t mind salads and vegetables, I just preferred that they were deep fried and covered in ranch and/or cheese.

I’ve never been one for “diets,” I have not struggled too terribly much with my weight other than the freshman 15 (or 25 if we are being honest) and a few fluctuations over the years due to a lack of physical activity. A couple years ago, I started reading more about nutrition, various lifestyles and diets, including but not limited to no meat, all meat, vegan, vegetarian, alkalizing, low-fat, high-fat, grok, paleo, Atkins, South Beach, The Cookie Diet, etc. You name it, I’ve read about it. That does not mean I’ve followed any of them. I want to be knowledgeable about what a truly healthy lifestyle might look like if I were ever to get enough fire in me (or fat on me) to give something a try. I have dabbled with the vegan and vegetarian thing on a few occasions, but never for very long and not that strictly. Cutting out meat and dairy was typically the result of reading a book or seeing a documentary - The China Study and Super Size Me, for example. Frankly, I felt great cutting out both meat and dairy, I just got lazy and let them back in after explaining for the umpteenth time to my grandmother that just because the meat is cooked inside a vegetable, that does not make it vegetarian.  

As I am finishing the latest nutrition/diet books on my bookshelf – The Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr and The pH Miracle by Robert & Sandy Young– I am fully convinced of one thing. If I put trash into my body, I will feel and act like trash as a result. If I “feed” my body with caffeine, sugar, dairy, too much meat, fried something, processed anything, (not to mention too much booze) my poor little body will have to work overtime digesting and processing all the crap I dump into it. This is all while my body is doing everyday housekeeping like mending aching muscles, fighting off cold and flu viruses, stopping bacteria in its dirty little tracks, pumping blood to all the digits, etc. No wonder I am so tired, sluggish and just feel generally awful when I don’t pay attention (or care) what I eat. 

In both books, the authors argue that our bodies (and minds) will thrive on lots of glorious veggies filled with vitamins and minerals, nuts, seeds, legumes, fruits, and whole grains that haven’t been processed beyond recognition – things found in nature and eaten in their natural state. Sure, you can argue that orange juice from a carton is “natural” has lots of vitamin C, but it also has tons of added sugars, preservatives and worse.  Our bodies are not meant to process all the extra additives our “food” has these days. “Food” in our Standard American Diet (SAD) consists of ice cream sandwiches, hot dogs, bologna, instant mac & cheese, or instant anything from a box for that matter. As Kris Carr says, things made in a lab will take a lab to digest. Who wants that? When we get back to whole, nutritious and real foods, we will feel and look our best, prevent many of the diseases we all want to avoid and can potentially reverse any health issues we currently have. Look at Kris Carr, her “incurable” cancer has been stable for the past 7 years since she made a total lifestyle change from the SAD to what she now calls her Crazy, Sexy Diet. 

After reading these books, I am committed to changing my eating and drinking habits for the better. This means focusing on lots of veggies, nuts, seeds, fruits, whole grains, and limiting meats, dairy, sugar, caffeine, and alcohol. Guess it is time to say hasta luego cheese enchiladas and sayonara chicken fried steak! I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and “treating” myself with more caffeine, sugar and unhealthy foods, usually covered in cheese. It is a vicious cycle that is hard to stop and won’t be easy.  I’ve already broken up with coffee (except for a few small indiscretions), sugar is currently packing up and moving out and I haven’t yet told booze that she’s got to go, but really, she’s toxic and has got to go. I don’t have room in my life for toxic, unhealthy habits anymore. I want to make room for health, wealth, light and love. Not to say I won’t dance every now and again with an old, unhealthy friend on occasion, but they will be special occasions, not everyday affairs.  Out with the dead and fried, in with the lean and green!

If you think I am crazy talking about the correlation with what you eat, drink and how you feel and act, here are a variety of books I’ve read on this topic over the past couple years: The China Study, Eat to Live, The UltraMind Solution, Thrive Fitness, Crazy, Sexy Diet, The pH Miracle. In Defense of Food by Michael Pollen is on my 100 Days reading list too, another nutrition post will surely follow.  Read a book or two, peruse a few websites, educate yourself, know the effects of what you put into your body and make the best decision you can for yourself and please, please, please tell me that bacon counts as a breakfast vegetable.

It’s taken me over a year of reading and knowing I was making bad choices but doing them anyways before I finally decided to take serious action in hopes of reaching my fullest, healthiest potential. We’ll see how it goes!

How do you feel now? Are you fueling yourself with the right or wrong foods? Do you notice a difference when you make better choices? Why is it so dang hard to make the better choices?

 

The First Day of the Rest of My Life

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.....or something like that. My job officially ended yesterday, making today, well, awesome. I slept in, had a long lunch with a friend, ran a few errands, got my 100 minutes done while it was still mostly daylight out and am about halfway done with my reading for the day. This challenge ain't so bad when I don't have a day job!

I finished reading Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert a couple days ago, it was an interesting book about how we think we know what will make us happy, but really, we have no idea. Wasn't that the opening line the The Real World or something? Anyways, at times Gilbert's arguments ramble on like Wallace Shawn's character in The Princess Bride. (You know, the "inconceivable" guy who talks himself around in a circle and then drinks the poisoned wine? Sorry if I just ruined the movie for all three of you who have never seen it.) Aside from his rambling, Gilbert raises some interesting questions. Here are a few passages that made me think twice, and re-read it a few times, and no, not just because there are big words.

"Imagining 'What it would feel like if' sounds like a fluffy bit of daydreaming, but in fact, it is one of the most consequential mental acts we can perform, and we perform it every day. We make decisions about whom to marry, where to work, when to reproduce, where to retire, and we base these decisions in large measure on our beliefs about how it would feel if this event happened but that one didn't. Our lives may not always turn out as we wish or as we plan, but we are confident that if they had, then our happiness would have been unbounded and our sorrows thin and fleeting. Perhaps it is true that we can't always get what we want, but at least we feel sure that we know what to want in the first place."

"[When putting ourselves in other people's shoes] we are forced to consider the possibility that what clearly seems to be the better life may actually be the worse life and that when we look down the time line at the different lives we might lead we may not always know which is which."

"...when we imagine the future, we often do so in the blind spot of our mind's eye, and this tendency can cause us to misimagine the future events whose emotional consequences we are attempting to weigh."

Gilbert argues that cannot know what will make us happy in the future because we do not take all situations and possible events into account when we imagine our future "happiness" because it is impossible. We cannot predict a full picture because, well, we aren't psychics, or at least most of us are not. We may think that if we make X salary or marry this person or live in that community, then we will finally be totally, 100% happy. But we don't think about the fact that in order to make X salary, we will have to sacrifice all our free time or if we marry this person, our families will never speak to us again or if we live in that community we will never see our friends because it is too far out of town. His book is not about solutions to this "problem." It is merely an interesting discussion about the fact that we think we know, but we actually have no idea. I guess this means we should focus on what we do know and what we do have, which is the present, right here, right now.  

Inspiration vs. Perspiration

Who inspires you? No, not perspires, inspires. I'll tell you who makes me sweat - Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gossling...apparently I have a thing for actors named Ryan. Oh and I can't forget my new fave Garrett Hedlund (yes, I saw Country Strong, judge away - his voice was the only good thing about that movie)...but I digress,  back to inspiration.

People who inspire me are the ones who live passionately every day. By that, I mean people who truly believe in what they do and excite and inspire those around them, whether they intend to or not. People who have a variety of interests and things going on in their lives and are passionate about them all, they genuinely love life. Spending time with them (via TV, internet or in person) can result in new thoughts and perspectives that lead to new goals and actions.  Here are just a few people that inspire me to get more active, do more, live up to my fullest potential and to dig deeper when I need to. In no particular order.....

Oprah. She is a full sentence just by herself.  What? You haven't heard of her? Do you live under a rock? She OWNs cable now, in addition to her talk show and magazine! But more than that, she worked hard to get where she is today and is involved with a variety of projects that she really does seem to be passionate about. Between her TV show, her new TV network, book club, magazine, production company, and charitable givings she helps millions of people "live their best life" every single day. Don't believe me? Spend a little time on her website, reading stories and taking quizzes that will, at the very least, make you think. And she has committed to giving away at least half of her fortune to charity, how awesome is that? 

Kris Carr. She is a self proclaimed "wellness warrior" who fought cancer with vegetables and a vengeance. She has come back with more sparkle, pizazz and positivity that she shares with the world on her website - Crazy Sexy Life. I saw her documentary at SXSW a few years back and have been a fan ever since. Not only does she shares her knowledge and personal experiences about her quest for health, but she also solicits advice and guest posts from experts in a variety of fields (yoga, holistic heath, nutrition, and so so so much more).

Mike Thompson. Mike is a 25 year old, 4 time cancer survivor who is currently training for his first full Iron Man here in Texas to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. That's a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride and 26.2 mile run, all in one day, to be completed in under 17 hours!  I had the pleasure of getting to know Mike through Team in Training this past year, he is truly an inspiration for all. Check out his website to read his full story - even the coldest of hearts will warm a little after reading about this awesome guy.

Pam LeBlanc. Pam has what I deem to be the coolest job in the city of Austin, and possibly in the entire state of Texas. She writes the Fit City Blog for the Austin American Statesmen, which basically means she gets paid (I assume) to do cool, fun, fitness related activities and then write about them. From skiing in Colorado, to hiking and camping in Yellowstone to mountain biking in Big Bend National Park, she takes amazing adventurous trips and shares her experiences with her readers. She also writes about local events and fitness folks here in the Austin area, and I can't leave out the fact that she bikes to and from work almost every day.


Who inspires you?

Day 3: Challenging

Day 3: Monday 1/10/11, 0% complete (so far)


Today will be a bit more challenging to get the work out and the reading in as it is my first day of working since I started the 100 Days. I will get it done, oh yes, I will (I ain't giving up that soon!), it will just be a later night than I originally planned. Since apparently I have a problem with "snoozing" and getting up more than 10 minutes before I need to rush out of the house, I did not get any time or pages in this morning like I planned, which means it ALL has to be done tonight after I get home at TBD time. 

I am not a morning person. I don't know why I even try, but I am pretty much totally, utterly useless before 8AM, on a good day. I want to be one of those people that springs out of bed without an alarm at 5AM, slides right into their running shoes and gracefully sprints out the door for a nice, long run before the world wakes up. I'd come home to a steaming cup of tea and a hot breakfast (prepared by who? my cats?) and read at least 50 pages, knocking out half of my reading as the sun rises. Maybe I'd be cheery and more productive all day, basking in the post-exercise endorphins, knowing I already did my mind and body good in the predawn hours while everyone else was hitting their snooze alarms, those lackadaisical fools! Instead, I curse and grumble as the alarm jerks me awake. I slap the snooze button, begging for just a few more minutes of peaceful sleep even though I know that those 9, 18 or however many more minutes of sleep are not going to be nearly as refreshing as the morning workout that I ignored, again. How do the morning people do it? Have they always been morning people or did they overcome their innate need to snooze for another hour in 9 minute increments? Tomorrow morning, I will redeem myself and will not hit the snooze button...more than once anyways.

Day 2: Completion of my first book, a memoir (not mine)

Day 2 - Sunday 1/9/11

100 Minutes: 20 minute walk to and from the post office to check mail, 45 minutes on the stationary bike WHILE reading (who said multitasking was bad?), 15 minutes of burpies*, squats, lunges, and various other tortuous activities and 20 minutes of stretching.
 
*Burpies, or pukies as I call them: start from a standing position, squat down, hands down, kick feet back, pretend to do a push up, throw up, repeat. Do as many as you can before you arms and/or legs give out - for me that is right around 10. Ugh.

100 Pages: 47 pages to finish Lit (I started it before the challenge began, but it still counts). 53+ pages in Find Your Strongest Life by Marcus Buckingham. Entirely possible I will keep reading and finish this book tonight, but first, a little about Lit...

Lit is a memoir by Mary Karr, a writer and poet from Leechfield, TX - small southeast Texas oil town eerily similar to the town my dad grew up in called Sour Lake (no joke, they named it because it smelled of sulfur).

I love memoirs, in fact I would take a well written, honest memoir over a novel almost any day. Lit is the third of Mary Karr's raw and searing memoirs of her tough childhood and adolescence in Texas. This one however, focuses on the her life after Texas: going off to college, struggling to make it as a poet, marrying a "blue-blood," working at Harvard, becoming a mother, battling alcoholism and struggling with her higher power (some people might call him "God"). It it tough, dark, embarrassing at times and real, which is what I love most about it. I've read a good number of memoirs; my favorites include The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs, Eay, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, anything written or spoken by David Sedaris and now Lit. Most of them deal with tough subjects like growing up in eccentric families, dealing with mental illnesses (sometimes their own, sometimes others'), addictions, heartbreak, death and uncertainty but do so with an enormous amount of humor, honesty and insight.  I do not care if these are not perfectly factual, they are memories and personal experiences. (This does not include the semi-fictional A Million Little Pieces by James Frey, I do have some problems with the fact that he just flat out made some of the stuff up.) I do care that these writers have lived interesting, complicated lives and are willing to bare it all on the pages of their books.

The story we tell ourselves (and others) about our life is an important one. It is in how we spin our tale; the lessons learned from the obstacles we face and the accomplishments we earn throughout our life shape who we are today and drive us (or inhibit us) going forward. However, just because we had certain truths previously does not mean that will always be the case. Mary Karr came from an eccentric family, to put it mildly, but that didn't mean she was doomed to become eccentric herself, even though she battled alcoholism as both her parents did. She is now a successful poet, writer and teacher, living a life far different than the one she knew as a child growing up in Leechfield. Elizabeth Gilbert was a wife, trying to get pregnant with a child she didn't want and living in the suburbs when she realized this was not the life she wanted. She acted on these gut feelings, leading her to the arguably much better place she is today with an international best-selling novel, a movie based on her life and a partner better suited for her. Both of these women wrote memoirs with very different tones and outcomes, but the fact that they were willing to own and share their life experiences including the good, bad, ugly and beautiful is pretty darn brave. 

How do you tell your life story? Do you tell it with humor or with deep emotion? What have you learned from the tough times in your life? Do you own them, learn from them and deal with them accordingly? Or do you ignore them, swallow them, keep them hidden inside? Do you blame (or credit) others for where you are today?  What about your accomplishments? Do you remind yourself often how great you are? Do you have a list somewhere of all the things you are proud of? What brings you the most satisfaction and joy? Are you true to yourself, both to your history and your future? If you were to write your memoir today, what would you say?

The Pursuit of (fill in the blank here)

After running for 40 minutes and reading a mere 30 pages last night, I woke up today with a little apprehension about this rather large task at hand. (Hey, don't yell at me yet, my 100 minutes & pages challenge doesn't officially begin until tomorrow! Last night was just a warm up!) Then, on my 45 minute drive to work this morning, I was jamming to NPR as usual, listening to stories about the not so great state of the economy, the millions of workers still unemployed and how the job forecast is only barely, slightly better. I started to panic a little, it sounded something like this:

"What am I doing? My job is ending on Wednesday, which is not my choice but I am still very happy about it, and I don't have another job lined up yet! Ack! Stop this 100 days nonsense! Go fill out an application at Starbucks, Walmart, Target, Gap - anything just to make some money! You need mooonnnnneeeeeyyyyy!!!"

My pupils turned to dollar signs as I passed each big box store, wondering if they are hiring. Yes, I need money. We all do. Food, clothing, transportation and shelter are not free, nor should they be. Over the past 6 years working freelance in film, I have had these panics and conversations with myself at least 3 times a year, sometimes more depending on the length of the projects I was on. This has led me to say yes to almost everything thrown my way, regardless of whether or not I "wanted" to do it. I commuted to Houston for a month or so, working at a family friend's mortgage lending and credit repair business. I paid to put myself up in a suburb of Houston to work on a film, then did the same thing in Oklahoma - spending more money than I should have just for the sake of working, exhausting myself and my credit cards in the process. I hope this does not come across as whining, I have been very fortunate with work and am thankful for all my jobs, especially in a business that is very hot or very cold. My point is that my money insecurity gland kicks into high gear as soon as I don't know where my next paycheck will come from, overruling any other voices telling me to calm down, be patient, and pursue my own best life. I scramble and take the first thing offered to me, end up working insane hours doing something I don't love, or even like and wonder why I feel unfulfilled or worse. (For the record, I have never run out of money, never missed a rent payment or let any bills go unpaid. I have not always made the best decisions with my cash, but I am always responsible and do plan and save for the unknown times between jobs, like now.)

At what point is my health, happiness and well being worth more to me than a certain number in my bank account? Now. Is the security of getting a paycheck for another couple months worth more than taking the time to better myself? No, it is not. I would rather be broke and happy than rich and miserable. I have savings, I live frugally and I currently have a great, inexpensive living arrangement thanks to my awesome grandparents. Someday, I will find or create a job that provides me with both financial stability and fulfillment, but I don't yet know what that job is. This is the beginning of the next chapter in my life, the one where I am my number one priority and I follow my instincts, interests and pursue things that inspire and invigorate me; money will eventually follow.

The universe has a funny way of supporting you, literally and figuratively. I get daily emails containing "Notes from The Universe" and this what today's read:   

The pursuit of money, Kate, as a means to anything usually means (almost always means) that someone, somewhere, at least momentarily, has taken their "eye" off of what it is they really want.

Tricky that way, huh?

Yours,
    The Universe*


*If you have never heard of Notes from the Universe, I highly recommend you sign up for their daily emails. They are positive, fun little reminders that The Universe (or your higher power) is looking out for you. The creator, Mike Dooley has written a series of books, one of which I will be reading during the 100 Days.